


loadin' up on Wash(erfluid) at the 'Lube

by bitsby



Series: AU - Love at Local Establishments [3]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Humor, Jiffy Lube AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 22:07:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20365861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitsby/pseuds/bitsby
Summary: Donut finds love at the local Jiffy Lube.





	1. Chapter 1

Donut, Tucker, and Junior step into the lobby of the local Jiffy Lube.

The downside to having such an authentic ride meant that Tucker needed to frequent auto repair shops more often than if he had some 21st century lameass set of wheels. Totally worth it, though. At least this time, he just needed an oil change, since his oil pan leaked only enough to need one for the second time this month.

"You know, you could just reapply sealant--"

Tucker covers Junior's ears while interrupting Donut. "Sealant is for suckers, Donut, and that's not the kind of sucking I'm into."

"Oh, I hear that!" Donut winks at Tucker as the latter grabs Junior's hand, pulling him away from the door as a grease-covered mechanic steps into the office.

Tucker and Donut couldn't help but notice how tired and sullen this guy looked, bags under his eyes as if he hadn't slept in days. But it also made him look totally hot for some reason.

"You look like you could use a full body massage, mister!" Donut cheerily exclaims.

"... Excuse me?" the employee questions as he walks behind the counter, his name tag glistening under the bright fluorescent lights. The beveled David was messily scratched out, with the name Wash scrawled underneath it.

Tucker's heart skips a beat, taking in the sight of the weary-looking man sighing while waiting for the office's computer running software from the 90s to boot up. Tucker leans an elbow on the counter, pitching his tone into his "boyfriend" voice.

"_Hey_ baby, you heard the guy; if you want a real thorough rubdown, look no further," he says with swagger, pointing his free hand and thumb to himself. "Bow chicka bow--"

"Yeah, don't think I'm taking you up on that offer." Wash lets out an unimpressed huff. "So, oil change? We have a couple of options, there's synthetic blends or full--"

"We'll go with the ultra platinum!" Donut says confidently. "I'm more knowledgeable in water or silicone based lubricants, but my number one rule is always go with the best product for the best performance!"

Tucker snickers as Donut hands over a credit card, beginning to say his trademark phrase but stops when he sees Wash eyeing Donut with a shy smile.

Wash glances down at Junior as he keys in some information. "Cute kid. Is he one of yours, or, uh, did you guys adopt him...?"

Donut sidles up next to Tucker, putting both of his elbows on the counter and resting his chin in his palms. "Oh, no, that's Tucker's love spawn! We're not an item, I'm totally available." He says, grinning at Wash. "I'm just here to pay him back for showing me around town. Just fill that tank up right to the brim!"

"Bow chicka... bow... wow..." Tucker says under his breath with annoyance.

Wash blushes as he pauses, averting his eyes while he asks, "Um. Available, maybe, after my shift ends?"

"_Whoa whoa_ whoa, hold up. Just because I have a kid doesn't mean I'm not available, too!" Tucker declares.

Wash raises an eyebrow. "I wasn't asking you," he coldly states. Tucker could feel his heart implode then and there.

"Absolutely!" Donut says with delight. "What time should I swing by?"

Donut and Wash trade phone numbers, laughing at each other's innuendos and horrible dad jokes respectively. Tucker sits down in a flimsy plastic chair, hanging his head as he pulls Junior into his lap with a quiet sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost feel bad for Tucker by having him be such a solid bro in the previous fics, and then destroying him. _Almost._


	2. Chapter 2

"Donut, as much as I appreciate your... _enthusiasm_ for decor, I don't think the cats like it very much." Wash grimaces at the metallic jewel hanging from the tail of his youngest tabby, Huggins.

"They're not the ones staring at litterbox muscles while trying to have a romantic evening at their boyfriend's house! They'll learn to love the ass-cessory with time!" promises Donut.

Wash sighs, rubbing his temples. He looks over at his older black cat just as she jumps up and rips the windscreen off of the boom mic from the commercial set.

"Chrovos, _no_! Stop that!"

"_Cut_! This is why I didn't want to work with animals." The bespectacled film director groans and pinches his brow.

"Mr. Church, sir, we need a new dead cat for the stick--"

"I would appreciate if you didn't call it that," Wash says incredulously to the boom operator.

"Just, have the other one record the final lines, we'll reshoot the opening scene when the cats are gone." The director storms off.

Donut looks at the camera, ready for his close up. Wash watches nearby while calmly petting one of his cats in his lap.

"You can do more... in a Jiffy!!" Donut announces proudly, face inches from the camera lens.

A stage attendant holds up a cardboard sign reading _Jiffy Lube_.

_ Fade to black. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cat Fact #69: boom mic covers are colloquially called dead cats


End file.
